


Not here

by LuciaGuilt



Category: Sharja, Within Temptation (Band)
Genre: Angst, Death, F/F, Sadness, Trigger Warnings, person being suicidal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25714981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciaGuilt/pseuds/LuciaGuilt
Summary: She was lying on the side of the road, opening and closing her eyes slowly. The blue and red lights were nearly blinding, making the wet road look like path of rubies and sapphires. The pain of her broken leg and multiple wounds was everywhere, but yet it wasn’t as bad as the one inside her.
Relationships: Sharon den Adel/Tarja Turunen
Kudos: 2





	Not here

**Author's Note:**

> Years ago I uploaded sharja fics to my tumblr but now decided to upload them here too. I'll keep posting them little by little. 
> 
> Sorry for the sad start!

Not here

_She was lying on the side of the road, opening and closing her eyes slowly. The blue and red lights were nearly blinding, making the wet road look like path of rubies and sapphires. The pain of her broken leg and multiple wounds was everywhere, but yet it wasn’t as bad as the one inside her. She let her eyes wander around, over the busy people, to see the crushed car next to the tree. In this darkness it just looked like a lump of something absurd, but she knew what the wreckage was really hiding. She felt scared and alone, abandoned, completely shattered._

\---

Sharon screamed. She woke up crying, not being able to stop. With desperate moves her hands were trying to find something that once was there from the other side of the bed, but she only got a handful of sheets. She collapsed on the bed, sobbing in the darkness, and trying to breathe through the thickness of her anxiety. Her whole body was shaking and everything that was left of her soul escaped. Every single night the sight of that nightmare followed her around, never leaving her alone. Even when awake she saw it all again and again. In the beginning she had had hope, but after nearly two years of constant agony, she had stopped believing. She slowly got up and went downstairs to make some tea. It was four in the morning, but she didn’t care. Time had lost its meaning ages ago.

She sat on the couch, squeezing her tea mug tight. She stared at the photos on the wall and felt the guilty wave again. That night she had wanted to drive, even though she was tired. The road had been slippery after rain, but hey, she had always made it, so no worries right? Except the fact that at the crossroads when she tried to brake the car just went on, sliding and spinning out of control. It ended up hitting a tree aside of the road. It wouldn’t have been that bad, but the tree had a branch just in the wrong place. The branch came through the windshield, hitting the passenger side… Sharon closed her eyes and inhaled sharply. It was her own fault everything she loved and had had was gone. It wasn’t fair she had only got a broken leg and bruises.

Sharon sighed and put the tea mug on the table. It seemed that there was no way out, this life couldn’t possibly be for her anymore. Even the band had been on a hiatus just because of Sharon so long, that she sensed they just wanted to move on without her. Someone else could take her place. All the guys had tried to help her to overcome everything, and she appreciated it more than anything, but she knew it had started to be too tiring for them. She had seen their faces when she had a mental break down while practicing, or when she couldn’t face the audience anymore. Sharon didn’t have the strength to put the smiling and happy mask on her face to fool people. She was tired, worn out and most of all, dead inside. What did it matter if the outside would go too? She didn’t have anything or anyone to love anymore. Sharon rose and walked to touch one of the pictures on the wall. She slid her finger across the dusty picture of a smiling woman whispering:  
“I’ll be with you soon.”

\---

_It was noisy around her, but she was still in a complete silence. She saw two paramedics pushing a stretcher covered with a white sheet towards a black car. She had been lifted on a stretcher too, but unlike the other one, she was being taken to the ambulance. There was someone who had been treating the wound on her head. They tried to ask something, but she wasn’t there anymore. In her mind she had left with Tarja._


End file.
